Selamat Ari Gawai

I'll be off for a long weekend and I've got fun plans waiting for me. Yeay~ Hehe. Wait for my updates ya! Be safe and toodles! :D And oh, before I go, I'd like to wish all my Dayak friends, "Selamat Ari Gawai, Gayu Guru Gerai Nyamai Lantang Senang Nguan Menua" (Happy Gawai, May You Enjoy Peace and Prosperity). Kalau ade yg perlu bertanya, no, I did not come up with that wish on my own. I took it from my company's website. Haha. Bye!

Truly Devoted

I have been busy and I am still busy actually. Tp ttp nk update my blog because I just cannot handle people around me anymore. Need a break.

Anyway, my gossip partner and I were having a drink this afternoon and we got to talking about being faithful. I don’t know how that topic actually came up, but it did. Here’s how part of the conversation went.

GP : Jes, kau pernah menipu tak?
Me : Ade orang tak pernah menipu ke?
GP : Dengan A*e dulu la..
Me : Ha? Menipu cane ni? Kalau menipu cakap, pernah la. Sape tak pernah?
GP : Kau pernah curang tak?
Me : Ohh. Pernah. Tapi aku rase dier tak pernah tahu kot.
GP : Boleh tahan jugak kau ek. Kat mane? KL ke? Mamat tu keje mane? Handsome tak? (punye la penyibuk kn, bertubi soklan ditanye)
Me : Amboi. Ye la, kat KL la. Kat Bintulu ni nak curang dengan sape pun.
GP : Kire kau pnah ade 2 boyfriends at one time la?
Me : Emm. Tak kot. Aku pun tak tau. Tapi what’s for sure is that we were more than friends la.
GP : Kau memang suke dier ke kau saje2 bosan nak sakitkan hati A*e?
Me : Entah. Aku boring kot. Tapi aku memang suke mamat tu. Ade pernah terlintas gak aku nak tinggalkn A*e to pursue this guy sebab aku dah x seronok, tapi aku tak wat pun.
GP : Laa..apsal?
Me : Sebab aku bodoh kot.

There. The conversation was way longer but I just had to leave some of the details out to protect my privacy. (Yela tu kn). Actually, this isn’t the first time a friend is asking me if I’ve always been loyal. To tell you the truth, I am a loyal person (under the normal circumstances that is). Truly devoted. But I guess when I was with my ex, I wasn’t actually very happy. I felt restricted and very uncomfortable. Not forgetting to mention that he was a jacka*s that was cheating behind my back most of the time. And don't even get me started on the lies he told me. But still, that’s not a good excuse to be cheating behind anybody’s back. But I did cheat on him. No one knows about this other guy except my best friend. Even so, I only told her after I broke up with my ex. No wait, after my ex broke up with me. Hmm. Some might say, it’s probably not considered cheating if you only go out and did nothing. Agreed. Only I think (I know actually) I was in a relationship with this other guy. We went out practically everyday after work when I was in KL. And no, he didn’t know I had a boyfriend at that point of time. Of course la kn. Kalau dh dier tahu, tu dh bukan menipu la. Ke still kire as menipu? Hmm.

Come to think of it, why didn’t I actually leave my ex for this guy? Hmm. Tak sampai hati agaknya. Plus, he was not really my type. (Eceh, ye ke?) Or probably was just too stupid. But, I’m glad I didn’t leave my ex or things might just be different and I won’t be ending up with my Darling right now. That would probably be the biggest miss ever. Rugi tau. :D

Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah. Today, I feel so blessed and grateful. Thanks Mr. PRD for conveying the ever so good news to me. :D Yeay~! Boleh berbelanja orang dan diri sendiri dengan sesuka hati lagi. Hehe.

p/s : Dear God, thank you for granting me with this. Just please don't ever make me forget the fact that everything I get, I get only because You generously give them to me. And for that, Alhamdulillah and thank you so much.

All Is Well

It’s Wesak Day today and it’s supposed to be a public holiday. I should be lazing around the house membela my lemaks but instead, I’m at work. Sigh. I really hate the long weekend this time. I felt so lonely and bored and unproductive. What makes it worse was my Darling had to work on Saturday and Sunday. And today, he’s gone on a fishing trip with his friends and I’m stuck at work. That’s why I hate this particular long weekend. It’s because I haven’t been spending any quality time with my Darling. Even when he dropped by to have dinner with me and watch the telly, he was dozing off occasionally. So clearly he’s too tired to melayan kerenah aku yg mengada iniew. To add up to the whole situation, it's the time of the month for me. Ade kene mngene ke? ADE! :p

So anyway, I was left at home the whole of Saturday, lying in front of the telly. Yes people, the whole day. I seriously didn’t do anything except maybe occasionally getting up to go to the loo. Itu pun sebab terpaksa. :p Mmg pemalas kn. Ye saya tahu. And that made me so bloody moody because I was missing him so much. I know he’s gotta work but still, I can’t help but feel a little neglected. Ngade kn? Hehe. I know. And because I was dead bored on Saturday from doing absolutely nothing, on Sunday, I decided to cook. Nothing special. Tak sedap pun, as usual. Sian my Darling. Untuk menjaga hati aku yg x pandai masak ni, berulang kali ckp aku masak sedap. I think he was just being nice. Nevermind lah. As long as I did something to kill time while he was at work. After that, I continued my ‘watching-the-telly-and-only-get-up-if-you-really-need-to-go-to-the-loo’ activity while randomly poking, hugging and splashing my friends on facebook. Dh la kwn aku ni xde la ramai mane pun dlm facebook tu. It didn’t even take an hour to poke, hug, splash, etc. my friends. Then I was back to feeling so useless. I really needed to do something fruitful. So, mlm tu pg tgk wyg. Haha. Fruitful kn? :p It felt so good to be able to get out of the house, but I was a bit moody thinking about having to come to work today. But, nonetheless, here I am.

I think that this has to be the one of the first long weekends where I didn’t get to spend as much time with my Darling. I really miss him a lot. However, deep down I honestly think that both of us kind of need the time away from each other. Therefore, all is well. :)

On a completely different note, I have uploaded pictures from the MIJF 2008 last week. Ayin, ampa mesti suka kn? :p I know I still owe you pictures from the last few entries, but please bear with me. Kami bz~ :D Anyway, enjoy ya!

Pics above are of my Darling, me and my best friend, Elmi. By the way, Elmi's single and available. I'll be dead meat if she knows what I'm up to but, anyone interested? Hehe.

Happy Birthday

Me and Neeta being silly

This pic was taken the last time I was back in Penang, me and my gorgeous little sister :D

It's my little sister's birthday today and I really miss her, a lot. She's in Penang and the last time I saw her was during Chinese New Year. Lame kn? I really hope I'll get to see her on my next trip back to KL. But anyway, I just wanna wish her Happy Birthday Neeta. I love you. :)

I Get Moody

I get moody..

1. when my tummy is not flat enough
2. when I fit into my jeans a little snug
3. when I can see my ‘muffin top’ however hard I try to hide it
4. when I feel fat (what’s new?)
5. when the weighing machine 'lies'
6. when he doesn’t seem to miss me as much as I miss him
7. when he doesn’t seem to love me as much as I love him
8. when he subconsciously ignores me
9. when he is not around when I really need him
10. when I’m sick and alone
11. when I’m PMS-ing
12. a LOT. Period.

p/s : I really miss my Darling :(

Usaha Tangga Kejayaan

This morning, after dropping my Darling off at his office, I drove to mine at a lazy pace. Somewhere along the way, a few cars overtook me. None of them looked familiar. So I just assumed they were all strangers. But I was wrong. As I was making a left turn into the compounds of my office, I saw this one car that overtook me earlier. It made a stop just outside the main gate. I am not the busy body type actually. Hehe. Tapi bile aku belok masuk gate tu, kepala aku terpusing ke arah kete yg disebutkan tadi. And I thought I saw someone really familiar coming out of the very unfamiliar car. I was right. It was Mr. PrM. He was with a gorgeous and hot looking woman. Aku ni seorang yg baik sangka. Cewah. I was telling myself, lawa nye la bini dier ni although I was a bit suspicious, I kept that good thought in my head until I reached my workstation and saw my gossip partner. Haha.

Me : Eh, M. Aku bukan la nk mengumpat pagi2 ni kn. Tapi aku ade soklan aku nk tanye kt kau.
GP : Ha? Ape bende? (dengan muka penuh interest dan teramat lah kepoh)
Me : Wife Mr. PrM kai tudung x? (dengan nada bisik yg teramat lah perlahan)
GP : Sape? (bisik blk)
Me : Wife Mr. PrM la. (stil dok berbisik sambil tunjuk ke arah tpt org yg dimaksudkan)
GP : Ohh. Wife dier pakai tudung and cermin mata. (ttibe ade extra info kn)
Me : Ohh. Td aku nampak dier dgn sape ntah. Anta dier kt bwh. Cun gile. Kurus. Lawa la.
GP : Aku tau. Aku mmg tau dier ade someone la. Cuma x sure sape. Aku pernah nampak dier berceting kt ym ber’baby’ dgn pompuan mane ntah. Tp aku sempat tgk gamba pompuan tu. Mmg lawa.
Me : Tu la psl. Lawa gile pompuan tu. Haih. Takut aku.

Hmm. It really got me thinking. It got me scared too. What if I was his wife? Naudzubillah. I don’t really know how I’m going to handle the whole thing. So I and my gossip partner came to a conclusion that no matter how many kids you have, you really have to take care of your appearance, especially your weight. It may seem a little bit unfair but that’s what I think we women should do. Btw, I saw Mr. PrM’s wife. She does look a little old. But she’s probably tired looking after their 2 little babies. Hmm. It’s really unfair. But, nonetheless, if they (men) can go out and have fun with hot skinny b*tches, we can make an effort to have guys drool over us as well right? We can be one of those Hot Mamas. Watch out skinny b*tches! :D

Oh and pls don’t get me wrong. I’m not encouraging all of you women out there turn yourself into hot mamas just so you can cheat on your husbands. Just merely to keep them by your side. Hehe. (mcm senang je kn.) Tp xpe. Usaha tangga kejayaan. :)

p/s : Dear God, whatever it is that you may want to test me with in future, pls let me be strong. And I pray that you spare me the heartache of having to go through a life with a cheating husband. Amin.

Miri International Jazz Festival

The Miri International Jazz Festival is here. I just can’t wait! I’ll be driving down to Miri with my Darling tomorrow morning. We’ll be meeting Elmi over there. Yippie! She’s joining us on our quest of having fun on Saturday night. Again, I really can’t wait. :D Dh malas keje dh arini (pdhal hari2 pun malas jgk). :p Anyway, for those going, see you guys there!

A Year Ago Today..

A year ago today, we met. Little did we know we would be where we’re at today. But, I’m not complaining. Never. I’m just very grateful. :)

Just to express how deeply in love I am with my Darling, here’s a little something taken from someone who’s in love just as deeply as I am…

Once Upon a time,
On a day that looked like any other day,
Someone like no one else came along,
And made my life into something that would never be the same…

That’s you, my Darling,
That’s the day we met,
That’s why today means so much to me,
Happy anniversary Darling…

A Promise

Sigh. You told me it’s no longer there. You confidently told me it’s already been removed. Why? I went just to see. It’s probably a bad idea, but nonetheless, I went anyway. I went after procrastinating for so long because I really do not wanna be disturbed by the sight of it. I probably went to check if it’s truly gone. But I was left disappointed yet again. I think I should stop going there. I know you’ve told me lots of things to make me believe that the thing that bothers me so much doesn’t mean a thing anymore. But please, just put yourself in my shoes for a second. Would you be ok if I were to do what you subconsciously did? If you are, then I shall rest my case. Just know that right now, deep inside, I’m not quite ok. But then again, I won’t ever show it I guess. It’s probably just gonna ruin your day and that’s the last thing I wanna do. I should go now. I should go with a promise made to myself, never to go there, ever again.