Monday, 31 December 2007

Happy New Year

It’s finally here. Not that I was eagerly waiting for it to arrive. But it’s always something I kinda look forward to, simply because it usually marks a new beginning. I think. Those who’re wondering what on earth might I be referring to, it’s the NEW YEAR of course. :) Anyone in the mood to take a short ride with me down the ‘not-so-bumpy-and-a-little-amusing’ road of 2007? Well, hop on and enjoy!

Let’s see, where do I begin? Hmm. OK. The first quarter of the year, I was busy trying to pull myself together (after breaking up twice with the same guy in 2006) by keeping myself busy with friends and family. I made a fascinating and thrilling trip to KK with four other lovely ladies. I seriously had a good time. Tak sia2 I menjadi seorg yg gila kuasa mengplan trip itew. Sangat berbaloi. Hehe. .

Come second quarter, I was all excited to participate in the Borneo Games. It was held in Bintulu. The reason why I was excited was because I know I’ll be meeting people I haven’t met for so long (at that point of time, of course). And naturally, the chance to meet Elmi (my bestest friend) and gossip with her beats anything else. Bottom line, I get to play tennis, gossip and still get paid. :) What could be better right? I just needed to get dark a little. OK OK. A lot probably. But who cares? I still managed to meet my darling-to-be (of course I had no idea then) during this event. *wink*

By third quarter, I was busy with my darling (who wasn’t actually my darling yet at that particular time). Also, there was another event, KKP ’07. This has always been the event I look forward to. Always, always and always. This is where I get to ‘cuci mata’ (ada rugby players ok? *drool* You know which part I love the most? The breakfast time. Sangat seronok cuci mata ketika itew. Sigh. I’m missing the whole thing already. But fret not, it’s an annual event. Tahun depan ada lagi. Tahun depan depan ada lagi. :D

In the last quarter of the year, I was just trying to find contentment and probably a little bit of bliss. Did I find it? I think I did. It’s a very good quarter for me. A lot of mysteries were put to rest. Some things were laid out it the open. A lot of information was shared and stories were told. And of course there was Dewa’s Concert which was truly magnificent and nothing else. But apart from everything else, the most important thing that happened in the year of 2007 was that my darling finally became MY darling. Wish me long-lasting luck with this one people. Wouldn’t wanna let this one slip. :)

There, all in all, I would say that 2007 wasn’t a bad year at all. At least it ended better for me comparatively to the year before. Alhamdulillah. I hope 2008 has better things in store for me and everybody else. Happy New Year peeps. God bless! Oh before I go, here are some memories from 2007. Enjoy! :)

























Wednesday, 26 December 2007

Go Die

Earlier today (when I wasn’t so pms), I had this ambition of blogging about the wonderful weekend I had in KL with my TTM. But now, I’m just not in the mood to tell you guys anything about it. Why? Sigh. It has to be one of the events that left you wondering who, what, where, why and the worst, what if.

I’m just crazy. I’m just paranoid. I’m just overreacting. Am I? Sadly sometimes I don’t think so. I’m worried. I’m scared. I’m disturbed. I still think I don’t have the right to say anything about ‘anyone’ (despite he himself has told me otherwise). I still think ‘anyone’ is more important than me. I still think that as long as ‘anyone’ is around, ‘anyone’ will always come first. It’s probably just me. I don’t know. I’m gutless when it comes to these things. Wanna know why? Simply because I feel I have no say in anything at all over ‘anyone’.

Weird thing is, if you noticed, I’m always wondering about all these nonsensical things. But it disturbs me most only when I’m pms-ing (there we go again, blame it all on the pms). So again, I’m just gonna go have a good harmless cry (that always help), and watch the telly. Hopefully, these stupid thoughts and feelings will pass and never come back. Please just leave me in peace. Go bug someone else, or better still, go die.

Thursday, 13 December 2007

I Think I Need Help..

I think I need help..

I feel fat all the time..
I am insecure..
I experience fear for no ultimate reason..
I worry for nothing..
I don’t think I’m pretty..
I think I’m super-dark..
I see fair people as beautiful..
I am so afraid of getting hurt..
I fear that I might be left behind again..
I hate the fact that my blood type is A-..
I question why my tummy isn’t flat enough..
I am terrified that he’d like me less if I get fat..

I think I need help..