What Bonds Us

If there’s one entry I want him to read, it’s definitely this one.

I feel like we have grown apart a little. Maybe not, I don’t know. Maybe we have grown too comfortable. Too comfortable that we are being complacent. Mind you, we are not in trouble. We are fine. We are. Promise. :)

I don’t know if it’s the hormones, but something got me thinking. Maybe after we were apart for quite sometime this month, I felt a little different. Something made me realize that we are not like we used to be. We see each other everyday. But what do we actually do? I don’t quite know.

We used to email each other at work. Now? I only get a forwarded email from him maybe once in two days (if I’m lucky). I’m not blaming him. I don’t forward him emails at all sometimes. I miss the jokes we used to share through emails. I do. So much.

We used to sms each other at work no matter how busy. Now? I only get an sms asking me to pick him at the end of the day or sometimes to go for lunch. Nothing much in between. Then again, nothing I’ve done to put the routine back to it’s place. I just let it be. But I miss the times when I’d have to juggle between finishing up my work and replying his sms.

We used to play tennis together almost every evening. Now? He goes to play with his guy friends. Not that I mind. I think he’ll be better off playing with them anyway. I mean, how can a guy improve playing with a girl right? Unless I’m Jelena Jankovic (matila tanak tulis Serene or Venus as contoh). Still, I miss the amusement we shared on the court. It really got us close to each other.

I don’t know what bonds us nowadays. The time spent in the car to and from work? Have we officially reached that level? The level where people just go through a relationship (doing nothing out of the ordinary) just because they are in it? Have we really reached that point? How did we manage to go ‘there’ so early? It scares me. It scares me big time. So, I think I’m gonna have to do something to make us not go ‘there’ so early. Or better still, not go ‘there’ at all. :)

I really don’t wanna end up feeling like he has to be with me just because. I wanna know that he is with me because he wants to. Right now, it feels like we are distant despite being so near. I don’t think we are unhappy. I just think we forgot what we used to have that made us close, the quality time. Real quality time. Hmm. But no worries, I will try to refresh both our memories. Hehe.

So, pray for me people. I’m on a journey to revive my love life. Although I don’t quite know how yet. But I hope I will succeed. Hey, who knows, he might realize that we have been too complacent and decided to do something too. :D

p/s : What has been written, everything, is solely what I feel. Like I said, it could be the hormones talking. I’m not blaming him at all. It takes two to tango people. Remember that! Toodles~!

p/s lagi : WE ARE NOT IN TROUBLE! To my darling, I love you and I miss US.. :)