Not Easy

Hye.

I have always planned to fully breastfeed my baby. Mainly because 'they' say breastfeeding makes you lose weight, fast. I only had that in mind (at that point of time). Yes. Losing the weight I have successfully gained during my pregnancy. Spare me the cynical look, I put on 23 freaking kgs! That's almost the weight of a 3-year-old toddler. I have only managed to lose half of them to date.

Anyway, when my baby was born and in need of milk, I was dehydrated and dry. I had chapped lips and my nipples cracked way before my baby even had the chance to latch on. Why you might ask. Try being in labour for 12 straight hours and you'll know. But I was determined to exclusively breastfeed him. So, I let him latch. And boy did he latch. I was in so much pain that I cried while breastfeeding my baby. He was sucking so hard, I really couldn't stand the pain that I had to turn to my breast pump for help. To make matters worse, I was not producing a lot of milk the first few days. My supply came only on the 4th day.

Although it doesn't seem like it took too long before I was engorged, but believe me when I say it was probably the longest 4 days I have ever been through. I almost gave up. I was this close to giving him formula milk. Thank God for my Darling who was so supportive at that time. The nurses weren't so helpful actually. Perhaps because my baby was crying (sebab tak cukup susu) and disturbing the other babies. There was this one time the nurse wheeled him in my room (about 10 minutes after wheeling him out) looking all irritated and saying, “Ayo, cannot la. Crying non-stop.” He probably woke every single baby when he was wailing. Hehe.

Today, 2 months later, alhamdulillah, I am still exclusively breastfeeding my baby. :) I am not condemning mothers who gave their babies formula milk. I totally understand why most of them succumb to it. It hurts. When you're not producing much, and the baby is sucking hard because he is hungry, it hurts like hell. When your baby refuses to stop crying because he is not getting enough, it hurts even more. So, just do what you can. Buat setakat mampu sudah la. Jangan paksa diri. Orang nak cakap apa, cakap la. They probably don't know much. Honestly, breastfeeding my baby has taught me a lot of things. And I am so grateful that I am able to do it despite the hiccups (will probably blog about it later).

All I want to really say here is that breastfeeding is not easy and it doesn't really help you lose weight! At least not for me. :p

Bye.