Strolling Down Memory Lane

Can anyone ever satisfy me? Will I ever be satisfied? I guess the first thing I need to do is stop attracting (or stop being attracted to) the wrong person. All my life, as far as I can remember, I have been doing nothing but that. I have always, always been attracted to all the wrong individuals. Anyone I ever liked, never ever liked me back. Even if they do, they are not quite the available ones or they don’t like me the way I liked them. See? It’s either I liked the wrong person, or they liked me. I think I need to keep away from all the wrong people. But can I actually? When will I ever learn? Sigh.

I feel like strolling down memory lane today. Care to join me anyone? Let’s take a stroll with me just so I can demonstrate my point. You can then agree that I have always had it wrong with guys I liked or those who liked/like me. Hmm. I think I should start with the ones I liked first, moving on later to the ones that liked me. Buckle up people. Try to enjoy the ride ya. :)

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The ones I liked
The Arrogant Lad
This guy was practically my first crush back in UTP. He was probably everyone’s first crush given the super good looks he was granted. And you know what? He knew it, too. I think my close friends would know as I was not actually discreet about it. Only with them, mind you. Until today, I have no idea if he ever knew. Haha. Anyway, what’s wrong with me liking this guy back then? He made it clear that he was having a crush on this other girl, and was actually pursuing her. And what can be worst than asking me for pointers on courting that particular girl? At that time, absolutely nothing! So I have actually liked a guy who could care less about my being. On top of that, he was treating me like I didn’t matter too. Good start eh?

The Shy Stranger
I’m not sure if I can classify this guy as someone who’s wrong. I don’t think he ever knew I liked him. I don’t think anyone ever knew. He was a friend of 'The Arrogant Lad'. Haha. Need I say more? With this guy, it wasn’t anything serious. It was just a stupid crush. A crush no one knew. A crush I kept to myself. Until now that is. All I can remember about him is that he was super shy. Very polite. But not once he glanced my way. Not once.

The Handsome Jerk
With this guy, I was just blinded by good looks and nothing else. Seriously. Stupid stupid me. This jerk knew I liked him from a good friend. Needless to say I never intended for him to know. But anyways, he actually came up to me and my best friend while we were having dinner one night and asked for my best friend’s hand phone number right under my nose. He even asked her out there and then. OMG! Imagine how I felt right that very moment. Talk about being a pig. By the way, I learnt afterwards that he’s a pervert. Haha. Felt so glad I didn’t get the chance to go out with him.

The Amateur Cheater
This guy actually broke my heart. The first time ever I cried over a guy was when I liked this d*ckhead. Excuse my language. Just can’t help but be reminded of how I used to cry myself to sleep because I found out that this guy cheated on me. I seriously liked him. Love was growing in fact. And he knew and he made me think that the feeling’s mutual, too. What an ass. You wanna know the funny part? He was caught cheating by my best friend in her house, with her other friend. How cool is that? And when I confronted him, it was as if nothing ever happened. Or even if it did, he wanted me to decide what I wanted to do. Wth? Like my feelings didn’t matter. Whatever I decided, he’s fine. So then I decided to end the whole thing. He didn’t stop me. Didn’t even try. That’s how much I was worth to him I guess. Although back then, I felt like dirt, today, we are just good friends. Hehe. People are always asking me, how did I end up being friends with him after what he did? Honestly, I seriously don’t know. I’m too nice I guess. That is why I get hurt easily. Hmm.

The Devoted Friend
I saw this guy for the first time at the cafeteria. I had a major crush there and then. I saw him in the afternoon and by tomorrow evening, he found out I like him already. Haha. See how fast my friends worked? I was angry considering I’ve had so many bad experiences with guys who knew I liked them that I just felt like keeping the crush I had on this guy to myself. But I was a little too late. Anyways, I hate to tell u guys about this particular guy cuz I just think that he’s a coward and nothing else. Or probably he didn’t like me that much. The thing is he actually told a friend that he thinks I’m OK and he liked me too. Perhaps, he was being nice. Nevermind. But he refused to go out with me or have any kind of contact with me after a friend of his (I will tell u guys about this other guy later on) told him that he actually is pursuing me. What?!? Jgn kacau line dier la kirenye. The nerves on some people really amaze me. So then I gave up. What’s the point right? If he values his friendship, I have to respect that. But don’t expect me to be so open about it. Idiots!

The Careless Bloke
Hmm. What can I say about this guy? I was very comfortable with him. I liked him very much, really. Although I’m not sure if he ever liked me when we were going out together, I enjoyed having him around most of the time anyway. You see the thing is with me is that I never assume anything. If you like me, you have to tell me. I’m not the presumptuous type of a person. I’m just not. I just don’t have the confidence to exude such beliefs. I have nothing much to say about this guy as clearly, I don’t know how he ever felt about me. He probably liked me as a friend or more, I might never know.

The Obedient Son
This particular person used to be the love of my life. I changed because of the relationship I had with this guy. I changed so much over the 3 years with him. Only it was rarely appreciated or even seen as something important enough to be recognized. Not that I crave for recognition that much, but a teeny weeny acknowledgement would’ve been nice, right? If you know me, you’d know that I’m not all that hard to please. But I will without a doubt go the extra mile to please the ones I love. Anyways, what happened with this person who I thought was my absolute knight in shining armour? Let’s just say he’s not looking for a spoiled stubborn mummy’s little girl. Even if he was, he’s too compliant to do something about it. By the way, if any of you are interested for more details on this individual, feel free to read my old blog. :) It’s everything you need to know and probably a little more.

The Sweetheart’s Honey a.k.a The Charming Caring Soul
At first he was just someone who’s there, someone for me to take my mind off things, someone who helped me forget, someone who laughed hard at my jokes, someone who made me laugh after a long time. Then slowly but surely, he became someone I like, someone I need, someone I miss, someone I want but probably can’t have. How? Could it be because he’s so bloody caring and sweet? I have no idea why I let my feelings for him developed so deeply despite the constant alarm in my head telling me otherwise. I truly care for this person. I do. So much that it slightly hurts, sometimes. I meant that in a good way of course, if there’s such a thing. Hmm. Although I’m not exactly sure he feels the same way, I upset myself thinking about it now and again. Probably because he’s not actually available you see. Yes people. He’s all that I ever wanted in a guy, but he’s taken. Again, one of the many people I’m wrongly attracted to. Sigh. What am I gonna do now? I seriously don’t know. Continue being a careless bitch? I have a feeling that I’m well on my way to self-destruction again. The path where without a doubt will be left with at least a broken heart. And more often than not, when it involves yours truly, it’s pretty clear whose heart it will be. Nonetheless, I’d just like to be absurdly optimistic and hope that I won’t be hurt whatever the outcome may be. Hmm. A tad too wishful maybe? Despite that, I really need a hug. Hug? :)
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There you have it. That was about them guys that got yours truly love-struck. Now let’s read on about those who’re mysteriously smitten by yours truly yang comot ini. :)

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The ones who liked me
The Psychotic Deceiver
This Romeo is really something. According to his friends (and him of course), he never failed in getting a girl to like him. Wanna guess who’s the first to break his track record? Yours truly! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with him, or absolutely nothing right? Hmm. It’s just that he lies like he breathes in oxygen. Constantly. All the time. It surprises me really. Everything that was uttered by him was nothing but lies. You can never trust him. Never. But, despite being the greatest liar, he’s a gentleman when it comes to treating a lady. Or probably when it comes to treating me. Hehe. I was like a princess to him. I can safely say that, before ‘The Sweetheart’s Honey a.k.a The Charming Caring Soul’, no one has ever treated me better than this guy. Sigh. If only he’s not damaged goods. The lies and the stories he made up, were weird and unreasonable. It’s beyond comprehension sometimes. No wait. Not sometimes, all the time. I can’t even begin to tell the lies I was told by this guy. Being super sick and bla bla bla…Oh by the way, remember the guy that ‘The Devoted Friend’ was so loyal to? This is the guy. Talk about wasting time.

The Eager Bandit
This one still makes me laugh. Until today. This guy asked me out one night. Mind you, it was our very first date. I’d like to stress that it’s our very first date. A meal and two movies later, he impatiently asked me to be his girlfriend. Hahahaha. Lawak x? Quite scary at first, but now it’s just amusing. You know what made it more hilarious? A few days after, he was caught stealing some stuff from his housemates. So glad I said no to him or by now, I’d have a thief for an ex-boyfriend. Haha. Can I be attracting a more wrong person? You tell me. :D

The Insolent Pervert
Yes people. I’ve been out with a pervert before. Of course at that point of time, I didn’t know he was actually one. Duh! He was in fact a friend. A good friend if I might add. Someone I trusted. He has somehow developed some kind of a romantic feeling towards me. Needless to say, I had no idea. Not the slightest. I only found out after a friend decided to enlighten me. I told you that you’d need to tell me if you like me. I don’t do signals reading. But anyway, this guy went out for a movie with me and started to grope me. What an ass right? Wanna take a guess what movie? Lord of The Rings 2, or was it 3? I can’t remember. But it was one of the movies from the ever so famous trilogies. It seemed like the movie took forever to end (dah la mmg citer tu berjam2 kn). Thanks to this jerk, I hate that movie. I haven’t talked to this guy right up till today. I just can’t bring myself to talk to him. I can’t look at him in the face and not feel sick. I maybe feel a little betrayed too. But I have forgiven him though. Sinerely. Just stay out of my face sucker!

The Snobbish Gentleman
This is another one of my almost perfect guy. He was such a sweet gentleman. He knew the right things to say, the right things to do. And he made me feel like nothing else mattered, but me, when I was around him. He took such good care of me when we were out in the public that I nearly fell for him, until I saw him treat the others around him. He was bringing everyone down with such harsh words. The remarks and comments made, it was really uncalled for. I can’t stand people doing that. I just can’t stand people who are conceited. Be nice to me and others as well. Why pick and choose? You know Alex Karev in GA? You noticed how Alex is always nice to Izzie Stevens but not even half as nice to others? My almost perfect guy, he’s just about that.

The Constant Sulker
Where do I even begin with this one? This one truly gave me a headache. It sometimes even made me feel like crying. I have no idea how to handle this one person. I have made clear that I do not have any feelings for him whatsoever. You might wanna know what’s wrong with him right? Everything! He’s married. Yes, he is. See why I get migraines when dealing with this one particular human being? Talk about attracting the wrong people, this one has got to be the champion. Care to challenge me on that point? I have lost my appetite to tell you guys anything anymore on this person. Simply because it will take hours for me to stop once I start. So I decided not to even start. Besides, tak penting pun citer panjang2 pasal orang ini.
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There. Long list huh? I was right wasn’t I? I’d like to conclude today’s entry by saying that, when I’m not out there attracted to someone who couldn’t be more wrong, they’re out there getting attracted to me. So please generous people, any ideas on how to be the magnet to a perfect guy? Do share. After all, sharing is caring right? :)